Thursday, December 24, 2009

All I Want for Christmas is Truth

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about Glen Davis
It's just Paul Pierce's knee
I just want him to get well
If he doesn't then I'll be in hell
Paul don't make me blue
Baby all I want for Christmas is Truuuuuuuth

We play Orlando this Christmas
It will be without PP
I'd do anything for him to feel
Better you must believe me

Dwight will surely be blocking
Every one of Tony's shots
Santa Claus won't make me happy
Having to watch ol' TA

I just want to win one more
Title with our special core
Make my dreams come true
Baby all I want for Christmas............

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Your 2010 AL East Champions: The New York Yankees

Premature? Probably. A lot can happen between now and then. CC could show up to spring training weighing 400 pounds. Posada, Jeter, Pettite, and Rivera could all remember that they are closer to death than to being fresh faced youngsters. Burnett's right arm could actually detach from his body. There's even a strong possibility A-Rod could get a sex change and become Lindsay Lohan's lesbian lover and renounce baseball forever.

However, as of this day, there is a clear divide between the Red Sox and the Yankees.

This was supposed to be a post about how excited I am for the Mike Cameron age (our first good black baseball player since before Troy O'Leary got happy feet). But this is much more pressing.

Today, the Yankees re-acquired Javier Vazquez, coming on the heels of their re-acquisition of Nick Johnson. Both of these moves have a very similar flavor and both are players I happen to really really really like.

Javy and Nick are not exactly household names. But each is a superstar at doing what they do best: striking out batters and getting on base, respectively.

Javy last year struck out 9.77 batters per 9 innings, ranking 5th in the league. This was definitely a career year for him, and if you regress him a bit and transfer him over to the AL, the rate goes to about 8.25 or so, but this is still a top 20 pitcher. The Yankees just added a 200 inning top 20 pitcher to their rotation. This just vaulted their rotation above the Sox. And even though there is a huge disparity in each teams defense, the Yankees top 3 pitchers strike so many guys out, defense doesn't matter as much for them

Johnson ranked third in baseball last year in OBP with a modest average. Jesus. A guy who gets on base over 40% of the time in front of Tex and A-Rod. I know this has been said a lot of times in this past decade, but they are gonna push 1000 runs, something the Sox can't even come close to competing with.

The Yankees just got a whole lot deeper and now have only one real weakness in LF. Good thing there are no available LF on the market right now. I don't know what would...

What? Holiday, Bay, and Damon are all still available? Shit.

Thank god for the wild card and Sexy Burger.

Friday, December 18, 2009


Philly? At home? Really?

I hang this one on 'Sheed. He was putting on an absolute clinic on the suspect interior defense of the 76ers.

Then the refs got involved.

Yes, two of the three personal fouls were absolute bull shit. But, he's gotta start accepting this is the way things are gonna be. He is being targeted. A grown man would deal with the situation, move on, and use his considerable talents to help the team.

'Sheed has been playing great lately. Going inside on offense instead of drifting around the 3 Point line every second. Playing really solid defense to be a great complement to the two headed defense monster of Perk and Garnett.

But come the fuck on. Calm down dude. You are supposed to be a great teammate in the locker room and I'm sure that's true. Be a great teammate on the court. Enough is enough. You are in double digit T's, which means automatic suspensions are right around the corner. It's not even halfway through the season yet.

I was against signing 'Sheed from the get go. Not because of the temper. Because you don't give a 35 year old man a 3 year deal. I have to admit that since he has started playing more like a 7 footer, I've been pleasantly surprised. But the temper is annoying and it hurts the team.

'Sheed: You are a 35 year old grown ass man. Start acting like it. That way we don't have to put up with ridiculous occurrences like losing to the awful Philadelphia 76ers.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Winter Classic

I don't like hockey, but this sure looks pretty damn cool.

Much better use for the Fens than Dave Matthews. God he sucks. Sucks sooooooooo bad.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

5 Years

We've got five years, stuck on my eyes
We've got five years, what a surprise
We've got five years, my head hurts a lot
We've got five years, that's all we got

Who knew David Bowie was singing about John Lackey all those years ago.

When reports surfaced yesterday that Big John was in town for a physical, I have to say I was blindsided. Sure, talks had broken down with Bay so a Plan B was in order and there were reports (which I thought was bogus) earlier in the offseason of the Sox interest in the righty. But come on, this just isn't a a move Theo makes.

5 years for a pitcher is a scary situation. Especially a 31 year old pitcher. Especially a pitcher with arm injuries the last two years. Especially a pitcher with a declining strikeout rate. Especially a pitcher who although has been the nominal ace of the Angels for the last 5 or 6 years is not really among the top echelon in baseball, ranking 26th in FIP (a statistic similar to ERA that measures a pitcher's value based on what he has the most control of: Ks, BBs, and HRs) in 2009. (Here is a much more negative look on the move which I mostly agree with, but watch out it is very stat heavy)

But I like what the move means to the team overall. Ya, 5 years is one or two years too many. I mean shit, in 5 years I will be 31, a full blown adult. And Lackey will probably at best be an average pitcher, and $16.5M is too much for just an average pitcher.

But the Red Sox can afford to overpay for some players as long as they fit a plan. And with the Mike Cameron signing (comments on this tomorrow) the plan has clearly shifted. We aren't the big mashers of the Manny Ortez heyday (but still ranked as the 3rd best offense in the AL last year). We are a pitching and defense team, fronted by a scary Top 3 of Beckett/Lester/Lackey with 4 and 5 starters who could be a 2 or 3 for most other teams, including the Yankees. This monster of a pitching staff is supported by what could be an all-time great defensive team. Keep in mind this team was second in the AL in run prevention last year by a mere 4 runs. Look out mf'ers.

Ch ch ch ch changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time (I don't know if these last two lines fit my argument, but I like to use bookends)

Monday, December 14, 2009

My Spin-Off Sports Blog

Following in the footsteps of The Jeffersons, Joanie Loves Chachi, Melrose Place, Parks and Recreation, and Baywatch Nights, I am starting a spin off.

To appease the wishes (or demands) of the rest of the Sexy Burger Six, I will save my sports musings for this space.

"But X Mark," you'll surely ask, "what qualifies you to muse on sports?"

Well for those of you who only know me as a burgeoning burger magnate, my true passion is actually sports. Literally from the minute I was born I was connected to sports.

I was born on Super Bowl Sunday in 1984 when the Redskins, my father's favorite football team because the Pats were such an embarrassment back then, lost to the Raiders. It was a bittersweet day.

My first Red Sox game with my father was the day Carl Yastrzemki had his number 8 retired. That number is now tattooed on my left chest. Some people say this is crazy. Some say it is douchie. I say F U, I like it.

I also saw another Boston great, Kevin McHale have his number 32 retired. This is not tattooed on me...yet?

I have worked in Minor League Baseball for two years, worked for a sports agent, and interned for Banner 17, with my third day of work being Game 1. I also got a masters degree in Sports become a bankruptcy paralegal.

My knowledge and love of sports goes far beyond this, but in an effort to not turn everyone off from reading this blog on the first post, I will save the rest of these details.

I will mostly write about the goings on with the Celtics and Red Sox (I had a falling out with the Pats when I fell asleep at half time of the incredibly boring first 3 quarters of the 2008 Super Bowl and I don't like hockey), but if something truly big comes up in the world of sports I will also comment on that.

So hopefully those of you who follow me on Sexy Burger and like sports will like what I do here. And if you are seeing me here for the first time, please check out for a magical world of burger creations.